My Journey to Truth: A Message from Big Mama

In 2006, while my wife and I were dating, I was introduced to her 96-year-old great grandmother. The meeting initially seemed normal as I walked into her bedroom where she was resting on her bed. After a brief introduction, she asked me to sit on the opposite side of her bed. This request was unexpected, as I assumed I would only be there for a moment and, if anything, would stand or sit across from her. Although it felt a bit uncomfortable, out of respect, I complied. Then she looked at me, placed her hand on my shoulder, and said, “Baby, you look tired. Lay down and get some rest.” At this point, our interaction started to feel strange, but I knew I wanted to marry her great-granddaughter, so I continued to comply.

Several hours later, I awoke from some of the best sleep I had ever had, yet I wondered how I had unexpectedly fallen asleep for so long. When I rose, she told me that she knew I was tired and needed some rest. Then, without any warning, she began to test me, quoting only partial passages and staring at me each time, expecting me to finish the rest. “Thy word have I hid in my heart… that I might not sin against thee.” —Tahilliym (Psalms) 119:11. Repeatedly, she threw the first half of different passages my way, and miraculously I was able to return each one to her with the correct second half.

As the years went by, now and then I would recall the vision she had shared with me—usually during discussions with others about how church institutions function. But in 2017, I had a dream that began to awaken a divine calling from 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 (YaHU’aH). I was walking in the most beautiful green pastures I had ever seen. The grass was perfect, the flowers flawless, and the sky magnificent. As I moved along, I noticed a cave that looked like a dark hole, and when I did, I instantly found myself on a bus with other people. The driver stopped to pick up an individual crossing the road. As the man was making his way to the bus, he was hit by a car but got up unharmed. He started to argue with the driver, but they ignored him as if he wasn’t there. Eventually, he approached the bus, and the driver called him by name and told him it was time to go. Although the man was confused that the driver knew his name, he still got on the bus. Then, amazingly, the driver began to drive up toward the sky.

We stopped at a massive loading dock where the bus parked to offload its passengers. After the doors opened, a malak (messenger) with gigantic wings stood on the pier with a clipboard, calling each person by name. Eventually, I was the last one called. As I exited and stood on the dock, it hit me that I had died when I walked into the cave. After I received wings—which felt massive and powerful—I told the face in the cloud, “I didn’t want to die, and I wasn’t ready to go to shamayim (heaven).” He didn’t say anything. He smiled peacefully, and I passed through the gate as the malakiym followed Him.

Since the bus had already left, I stood at the edge of the dock and decided to jump off and fly back to the arats (earth). Until 2017, practically my entire life, I had selfishly pursued what I desired. But that same year, after willfully and abruptly walking away from my childhood dream—a career in law enforcement—I died to myself. This was the dark cave in the green pastures. But instead of going to shamayim or resting, I was allowed to return, enabled by 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 (YaHU’aH) to do His work.